All of today’s teacher memes are inspired by the crazy stuff students do. Take this first one; do you know who I’m talking about? That kid who you swear was to your left but then you look up and he’s suddenly to your right. The next time you look up he’s in the back, and the next time you look up you can’t see him at all because he’s slid behind a chair but you never actually saw or heard him make any of these movements…yeah, that kid. If I had skills like that I would use them to sneak into my 1 year old’s room in the evenings and put away laundry without waking him up.
If you’re a new teacher, here’s a word to the wise: before handing out any supply for the first time (and maybe even still at the fifteenth time), state your expectations for the proper use of that supply. “Boys and girls, do we use markers to turn ourselves into tigers?” “No Mrs. Braun!” The result if you choose not to:
When I move desks around, it’s because there is some kind of situation that’s not working out. Perhaps all the drama queens are sitting together or I’ve realized the kid who sits way in back is actually a kleptomaniac and I need to watch her…like a hawk. Usually I do some hasty desk dragging when the kids have left afterschool so as not to waste instructional time. But it never fails, the moments kids walk in the next day, despite all my best efforts, the structured morning routine CANNOT commence until we take a few frantic moments to be elated, crushed, or just generally bewildered by the new seating arrangement. Some kids assume that if their desk isn’t where they left it the previous day, then it just must not exist anymore, at all, anywhere.
The good news is that there’s nothing else I need to be taking care of in the morning so I have plenty of time to usher all the lost kids to their new desks and explain the why behind the changes I’ve made….(to use a coloquialism from the 90s) PSYCH!